I would tell you that I believe we are ALL broken and in need of Jesus, that we don’t outgrow our need for grace. We have emotions and struggles and it’s ok to bring all of this to Jesus. In theory, I believe this to be completely true.
Until I’m a broken mess. Then I want Jesus to just fix it already so I can move on and do more things for him. I’d much rather feel competent and together, thank you very much, and my preference would be to lead from my strength rather than my weakness.
When I’m in a place of brokenness, it feels overwhelming and fear tells me it will always feel this way. I start to believe that I have nothing to offer, because apparently, I can’t even hold myself together.
In Shauna Niequist’s fantastic new book Present Over Perfect, she talks about how odd it is that she’s a writer since she hates introspection and silence, but writing is healing her and taking her to those places she needs to go.
For me, I believe that writing heals me of my need to look like I have it all together.
The writing that feels the most true of me comes out of my deepest struggles and places of self-doubt. I don’t tend to take the position of an “expert” when I write, giving three bullet points and nice, memorable sayings that make us all feel better about life.
Nope, I tend to write from a place of weakness and struggle, sharing the parts of me that I would rather hide. I still don’t share EVERYTHING, of course, but I don’t ONLY share the good stuff or try to make it seem like everything’s just fine. I can’t pretend like I’m strong or together when the truth is, I often feel very fragile and weak.
It is in this weakness that God meets me and shows me who He is. It’s where I gain perspective, where He reminds me that it’s not up to me to perform or impress or figure this life out.
And so my hope is that through the words I share, I can extend a hand, inviting you to join me in finding God’s strength in the depths of our weakness. If you’re looking for a super-optimistic, cheery, motivational encourager who will say, “You can do it! You’re the best! If you believe in yourself and work hard, you can do anything!”…well, I’m not your girl.
But if you need to see that you’re not alone in the struggle, that it’s ok to not be ok, that REAL life comes only when we face who we truly are, in all our brokenness and beauty…
Welcome. This is your space, these are your people. We are not here to wallow, but we ARE here to be real and to lay down our armor, take off the masks, shatter the glittering image that we’ve worked so desperately hard to hide behind.
For so long, I tried to bring to others my strength and my talent, my polished self that was ready to inspire. All the while, scared to death that someone would see the real me and discover that maybe I wasn’t as great as they thought.
Now God is inviting me to give up the act, to show up as the real me. He’s reminding me that I don’t have to impress or please or live up to anyone’s standard, that the truth of who I am is enough…not because of ME, but because of HIM.
There is so much freedom to be found in letting go, in stepping into the light and being seen as we are. Take the risk to come out of hiding, to step out as your true self…you’ll find you aren’t alone.
(Original Image: Tim Parkinson via Creative Commons)